Wednesday, December 25, 2013

10 Things to do with the Pink Mustache after deactivation?

If you are now a former Lyft driver who got unfairly deactivated, you probably have a lot of resentment right now. We all know that Lyft drivers make a ton of money lyfting people around the city of San Francisco. These drivers can make much more than your typical city employees.

Now when you see other Lyft drivers hauling passengers around, your blood is probably boiling. Are these Lyft drivers grinding your gears? Feel like you deserve to continue making money as a Lyft driver. Relapsing with doing that stupid fist bump rather than a traditional handshake?

Why perform any average job when you can be lyfting your way to thousands per week driving regular people who request rides? Lyft is famous for their pink mustache, a trade dress which is required on the front grill of an approved vehicle. But for the most part, there is no longer any use for this silly pink mustache after Lyft deactivates a driver's account and refuses to reevaluate their feedback and ratings for accuracy.

What are 10 things to do with the Pink mustache after deactivation? 
  1. Use the Pink mustache as a toilet cleaner. It is fluffy enough to clean crap, which is what this ride-sharing company gives to their driving community. 
  2. Use the Pink mustache to hail a cab in the Castro District.  
  3. Tie a rope around the Pink mustache and drag it around the city to demonstrate how Lyft's rating system makes their drivers feel during every ride.  
  4. Use the Pink mustache to cover the private parts of nude runners in the Bay-to-Breakers running race to show how this ride-sharing company screwed their former Lyft drivers. 
  5. Affix the Pink mustache to a wooden stake and light it on fire at Burning Man. 
  6. Use the Pink mustache to take a sitz bath. 
  7. Use the Pink mustache as an ass loofah to identify the ass-kissing drivers who can maintain a 5.0 rating with poor people and driving skills.  
  8. Use the Pink mustache as a manure spreader. 
  9. Use the Pink mustache to wax a car
  10. Use the Pink mustache as a dust cleaner
Have any ideas on what to do with the Pink mustache after an account deactivation? Share your comments below.